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Throughout history names have been thought to represent characteristics of the people named. We can see this throughout the Old Testament. God has many names. The first name that appears is Elohim, a plural word that indicates God is above all gods and ruler of all. It also prefigures the Trinity. My favorite is El Shaddai, which literally means “the many-breasted one,” a nurturing and female description. People often name their children after something or someone they love, or even a name from Scripture, giving the name meaning for them. They also sometimes pour through books of names that give the name’s meaning. This is especially true in Christian circles, I believe. I named my first child Amanda because it means “beloved,” which was and remains my declaration and hope for her. Names are very connected to identity in another way. Women may have one, two, or more surnames in their lifetime. The maiden name is traditionally her father’s, and then she changes it to her husband’s when she marries. (“I present to you Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.”) Historically this denoted ownership, although I’m sure brides these days don’t think of it that way. Then if she divorces, she can take back her maiden name or keep her married name. Change in marital status is the only time I’m aware of that allows a name change without specific legal action. It’s a real dilemma when the marriage has produced children or the woman is known professionally by her married name. Does she return to her maiden name when her children have her ex-husband’s name? Does she notify everyone who knows her professionally that she will now have a different name? It’s because of these two reasons that I continue to use the name of a man I despise. And it means that the 50th reunion committee has had a lot of difficulty tracking me down. In high school I was Terry Harper. Notice the very different experience of men, who have the same name throughout their lives. Does this help them to have a stable and unchanging identity? A dandelion’s life may depend on whether the owners of the lawn consider it a flower or a weed. --Terese
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January 2022
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