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I fear a lot things, at least a little bit. I fear uncertainty, pain, and public speaking. I fear running out of time to finish this book I'm working on. I fear what may happen in our country if the wrong people get elected. What I've probably feared most throughout my life, though, is not being prepared. There's nothing worse than being surprised by unpleasant or unfortunate events and expected to respond appropriately on the spot. This particular fear really worked against me when I was teaching. Standing in front of a class full of teenagers without anything prepared is worse than death to me. I never was good at "winging it." What this meant was that I sometimes spent three or four hours preparing for a 50-minute lesson. When I taught eight different subjects, that amounted to 48 hours of class instruction to prepare for each week. No wonder I was exhausted! I spend a lot of time preparing for things that never happen, and prepare for several possible scenarios related to a single event. What if it happens this way? Or what if they ask this question? I prepare for each possibility to save myself the embarrassment of not being prepared, of not having the right thing to say when it needs to be said. Neurotic? Maybe . . . a little. Okay, maybe a lot. I should have been a Boy Scout. Their motto is "Be Prepared," and I'm the poster child of preparation! --Janice
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January 2022
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