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When the topic was first mentioned, the first thing that came to mind for me is to have my other child die. She has had some serious medical issues over the years and a major surgery last year. I don't know how I would get through or beyond that. I already know what it is like to lose a child. I don't want to face that. Another scary thing for me is financial insecurity. I have been through a scary time with this, made it through, and it may be unrealistic, but it is still there. In the past, I lost significant sleep concerning this. Since I took charge of my own finances, it has subsided quite a bit. An important piece for me is that I try to live one day at a time and leave the cares of today when today is done. It is so admirable and I'd like to be able to say I am really good at it. That would be a lie. It does help to have a program that helps me stay focused on that and a spouse who is able to roll with whatever comes. I don't generally fear dying, but I do fear what I might have to go through to get there. I am not good at pain. I don't like things that move fast in the night, like mice or other things that might startle me. I am fortunate that I don't spend a lot of time feeling scared and I am not fond of people who like to try to scare me. I believe, that whatever happens, the resources will be provided in one way or another to get through each day. --Carolyn
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January 2022
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