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My thoughts about love have been scattered this week. I keep thinking about my dad telling my brothers and I that he only believed in saying, “I love you” to one person. That was my mom. He didn't say this until near the end of his life, but then he was able to tell us he loved us. It brought tears to his eyes and now to mine. I had known he loved me, but it was good to hear and, as you can see, it has stayed with me for a long time. As I was growing up, saying I love you, was not spoken aloud. It was to be demonstrated by the things one did, like holding a job or making good grades, or behaving. When my mom started to hug me and say she loved me as an adult, it was a different experience and it took a bit to get used to it. For me, I had already decided I was raising my children differently and would hug them and tell them I loved them. I know some of this came from their own upbringing. I never really knew any grandparent and what I knew did not instill warm feelings. My mother also had a contagious disease through much of my childhood, so there were excuses I could make to myself about why we didn't have a closer physical relationship. This, what I think is a Scandinavian heritage, continued in my own first marriage with not a lot of saying, “I love you.” I have looked at the book on Five Love Languages and what I got before did not make the grade, so here I am today with a different spouse and different love language that fits me better. None of this is either right or wrong, but it is what it is.
On a larger scale, the world sure needs love as the song says, “What the world needs now is love, sweet love. It's the only thing that there's just too little of. No, not just for some, but for everyone.” My hope for 2021 is that I can practice that love in all kinds of places and ways and be gentle with those who have a different perspective and believe different things. May I remember God's love for me and pass it on to others I encounter. --Carolyn
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January 2022
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