Sarah's CircleFriends are blessings that sustain our journeys. |
Because of some neck issues I’ve been unable to read much recently. After I finish my few chores, there’s not much to do except watch television. It’s been a mix of fluff and more serious subjects. One show that I originally classified as fluff is “Queer Eye.” This is a second iteration of a show from several years back (“Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”), involving a group of five gay men who spend a week with someone helping them straighten out their lives. I’ve become more and more fascinated with this show because I see what a catalyst for change love and kindness can be. If you don’t know, the five guys are experts in their own right in various fields. Tan is a fashion specialist, Jonathan is a hair and grooming specialist, Bobby is an interior designer, Antoni is a chef, and Karamo is a counselor. They are clearly very good friends, and their chemistry is part of what makes the show fun. They are mostly in stable long-term relationships in their private lives, so there’s no sexual chemistry apparent, but there is a lot of affection and good-natured teasing. It’s so refreshing to see gay men being friends! What the five men share is a passion for helping others who are “stuck” in their lives for whatever reason. The subject may be male or female, gay or straight, any age. What these subjects have in common is that they are overwhelmed with their lives and not coping, let alone moving forward. Messy homes and little attention to appearance are common. Low self-esteem is almost universal. They have given up on pursuing important goals. When first introduced to many of these people, my first reaction is to judge (“For goodness sake, get off the couch and wash your dishes!”). That’s not how the Fab Five respond. All that to set the stage. Another makeover show, right? But here’s the fascinating part. These guys are fantastic at listening and understanding someone else’s pain. It’s an intensive week, and a lot gets done in terms of makeover kinds of things. But that’s not the important part. There are many conversations, often seemingly casual or occurring in the context of some other activity, such as a haircut. These five guys have a genius for listening deeply and identifying what has gone wrong for these people. The subjects always report a sense of being not only understood, but valued. Valued! When there is often little outwardly lovable about them. The guys listen, understand, challenge, support, and love. They give lots of hugs. They are unfailingly kind and they celebrate every gain. They somehow help people understand that they have within them what they need to move forward, and they give them the courage to do it. This is what community ought to mean. This is especially what Christian community should mean. Genuine acceptance, kindness, encouragement. Investing deeply in others, especially when they have lost the will to invest in themselves. Listening. Being authentic enough to say and believe that we are all in this together and we have to help each other through. --Tereses
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January 2022
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