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The Beatles sang out, “When I’m 64,” and we all thought we’d never get there. Now it seems young to me. People always say, “I feel young until I look into the mirror.” But I use wrinkle cream and keep the gray out of my hair. But this pandemic has me reevaluating my own prejudices about revealing my age. Why do I have to look younger? Why do I have to look beautiful in the way our culture sees beauty? I realize that I have “drunk the Kool-aid” when it comes to my appearance. Having had a mother who was a beautician, and a sister who taught me style has kept this cultural norm active in me.
So I am growing out my real hair color. I’m finding that it isn’t gray yet, but it is the same old dull dark blonde it always was, the same hair that doesn’t curl and doesn’t cooperate with any hairdo. I’m taking it one step at a time, and learning to live with the real me. I’m not tanning this summer either, since I only go outside once a day, for 40 minutes on my bike, usually early in the morning. And I haven’t worn make-up since March, not even to go to the mailbox! If I can keep myself healthy, I do not mind getting older. The younger look was mostly to get younger people to listen or respect me, but I am retired, and I am tired of trying to tell others that I have some wisdom that could be shared if they gave me a chance. “When I am old I shall wear purple” or orange or large polka dots or dizzying patterns. I shall let my teeth get yellow, and watch my gray blue eyes fade into a truer blue. --Cynthia
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January 2022
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