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When Jan told us about her essay being published in "Story Circle Network: Real Women Write" I immediately ordered a copy! it was such fun to see an essay by a real person I know in a real book! But then as I read other women's stories, poems and experiences of the Pandemic I was surprised. It brought home to me, in a new way, the magnitude of this event. I thought I'd write about my experience of the Pandemic. I really wanted to write about the Pandemic; but it wasn't the major shift in my world. The shift for me was Chris's slide into dementia. Early in 2020 the VA outpatient clinics shut down to contain the virus and protect the hospital and patients. So, while I could see changes in Chris I could not find an answer to the "why" of it. A friend encouraged me to get in touch with a hospice group to at least have a nurse coming to check vitals once a week. That weekly visit gave me a base line to keep up with Chris's health. When the VA started seeing patients in the outpatient clinics again, Chris was on their list because of the hospice affiliation. Then he was given practically every test known to medicine to look for the root cause of his decline. In the Spring of 2021, he had a Zoom appointment with a neurology psychologist who gave him an hour and a half testing session. We were both in the session, and at the end she gave us her diagnosis: Vascular Dementia. According to the PA who is acting as Chris's primary care provider, it all links back to Agent Orange in Viet Nam. That means that we have thousands of vets dealing with the same issues. And caregivers/spouses like me, trying to care for these guys at home. The ongoing fallout of the Pandemic (masks, social distancing, wiping down my shopping carts, etc.) are still very much a part of my life, but not what concerns me. What concerns me is how long I can continue to care for Chris in our home safely. And how do I let him go to someone else's care? --donna
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January 2022
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