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I’m grateful that I don’t have fears that I had at a younger age, such as fear of poverty or unemployment. I no longer fear messing my kids up, as they turned out ok without me. I’m not really afraid of death, but I fear the things that might precede it: disability, pain, and dementia. I have vivid memories of my mother’s last years as she sank into dementia and lost more of herself every day. I think if I couldn’t remember people or my own history, it would be like not existing. I notice that I frequently can’t think of words and it scares me. I fear the loss of my husband or one of my children. I’ve experienced loss but never of that magnitude. I don’t know how I’d make it through. It seems to me that getting older requires increasingly more courage and faith. I hope I have enough of both. --Terese
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January 2022
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