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I don’t normally think of myself as an anxious, fearful person, but maybe I’m very good at denial. Of course, throughout my life I’ve had the usual fears for my children and aging parents, of starting a new job, or moving to a new place, but those fears did not rule my life. Not since the death of my husband have fears weighed so heavily on my mind. Now I worry about when I will be able to go visit my children who live over 1000 miles away. Fortunately, I was able to make a trip to North Carolina this summer to spend time with my oldest son and family, but it has been almost a year since I’ve seen the other son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter in Syracuse. Because they both live so far away, I have anxiety about whether I should sell my house and move to Raleigh. But then I think about how stressful moving is, and how I would have no other social contacts, especially with the isolation that we all now face. So, as you can see, it’s a vicious cycle of fears that could become overwhelming. When I finally take a deep breath, I can concentrate on my blessings, which truly are more numerous that the anxieties. A life of gratitude is more difficult during this pandemic, but I will continue to try. --Jeanette
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January 2022
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