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I have a lot of feelings about aging. I don’t want to get older. I feel like I’ve finally figured out some things that I wish I’d known earlier and now it’s too late to use them. It’s frustrating. And I don’t want to stop living. Death feels so much closer now (well, actually it is so much closer now) and I’m not ready. I like my life and there are things I want to do. And I’m not 100% sure there’s anything after death, so that’s a terrible thought---that I could actually cease to exist at all. And I don’t like the gradual loss of physical abilities that I took for granted at a younger age. There’s another piece of this, however, that I think is much more important. Perhaps our experiences over time have made us ready for a new stage in our spiritual development. I’ve been reading a book by Henri Nouwen about the prodigal son parable, and I saw some things in a new light, some of which relate to aging. He says that we can all see ourselves in both of the sons, one who is irresponsible and callous, and one who is self-righteous and resentful. I’ve inhabited both of those roles many times and if I let myself I can start down the path of self-condemnation pretty easily. But Nouwen says the parable isn’t really about the sons. Rather, it should be titled “The Parable of the Compassionate Father.” The father’s love is open and forgiving, even joyful. It doesn’t judge and it calls everyone to “come home.” Nouwen suggests that this is the role we should move toward as we get older. We are to show God’s love to others, “every single other,” as my church says every week. This includes ourselves, but mostly it’s about others. Of course everyone at every age should strive to be compassionate. However, I believe that all of the experiences of our lives and the hard-won wisdom we have acquired make us uniquely suited for this task. --Terese
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January 2022
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